Picture this: you’re on vacation in a small fishing village in Germany. You’re relaxing and enjoying a peaceful day at the lake- when WHAM! A CATFISH SURFACES TO SWALLOW YOUR PUPPY!!! WHOLE!!! That, my friends, was the harsh reality the citizens of Moenchengladbach lived in for years- until that catfish washed up on shore recently- DEAD. Or did he?… sounds like Lake Placid has a chance for a sequel.

My new job is sooo awesome! I absolutely love it! The Promenade on the River is soo georgeous and it’s definitely a dream job for any activity director. They actually really care about the residents and wanting to enrich their lives there with all kinds of activities. We go visit places, take day trips, go to see broadway shows, arts and crafts, you name it…they let me do it. We also have a jazz singer named Cece Gable who comes and sings for us every week…it’s pretty fatty! I really love the residents too, they are so much fun. They crack me up all the time.

Check out our photo section. All decked out- you can view our galleries, even post comments for the individual pics. Basically, this means TONS more pics. Its a cool little number we picked up called Coppermine Photo Gallery. Enjoy.

Woah. My computer goes down for a second and next thing you know theres a big ol’ fireball across the street- it wasn’t my fault. Actually it was a transformer (most likely Starscream or Jazz). It was nuts- it’s a bank building too- so lots of people poured out- no one got hurt tho. Also, cause the transformer is full of oil, it started to pour down the street- ON FIRE. I was just sitting here watching the sky fill up with black smoke- I’m on the 11th floor so it was a great view- pretty surreal. Like fire? Check out the pics: Pic1 Pic2 Pic3 Pic4 The fourth one is my fav.

I know- you thought we didn’t make it through the white water trip. No- I was simply learning more of the joys of web design- I messed up our site trying to give it some new digs and had to dig us out. ANYWAY- send us some suggestions on the site (a la comments). Want multimedia? Dancing babies? Free give-aways? Or are you the type that wants deep, thought provoking cultural analysis? We’re dying (special shout out to Jason for the spelling) to find out.

Goin’ campin’ this weekend. Should be a blast. We’re gonna do some rapids. Assuming we make it through, we’ll resume regular posts on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Our continuing coverage of the Nigerian email scams continues. Keeping up our tradition of useful reporting (recently EDANDHEIDI.com provided information on the third annual Nigerian email conference), we have breaking news for those who wish to combat this affront to our inboxes. Just reported by Forbes, there is a method the people everywhere are beginning to adopt in epic proportions.
In an attempt to overload the scammers’ inboxes, people are replying as much as possible to the emails when they come in. An automatic Nigerian-email-scam-reply-generator can be found here. I suggest adding some huge attachment. Enjoy.

Yeah! I got a new job this week! Actually, it took me a while to get excited about it. I love my current job at HMC Architects. I had such a blast there, and we just moved into the fattest office ever that we designed. But, I couldn’t pass up this other job as “Lifestyles Director” for Promenade on the River. I think I’m going to love it so much. I get to play all day with seniors! And, I’m going to have a lot more responsibilities too. I’ll keep you posted…

I have been changed. That’s the only reaction you can possibly come away with after an encounter with a real live Oompa Loompa. This past weekend we went to see a showing of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in the park. The big draw: a living, breathing, Oompa-Looma. Please, hold back you envious gasps- I know, I know. I was finally able to cross that off of my “things to do before I die” list. It was a pretty surreal experience- I don’t know what went on the set of that movie, but it has left him completely out of his mind. Pictures can be found here, and video clips will be posted soon.

Question of the day: Midget movie roles are usually limited to dwarves, jawas or freaky clowns in hallucinations. Politically incorrect or competitive advantage?

OhGeezOhGeezOhGeezOhGeezOhGeezOhGeez!!!
We are proud to present THE ALL NEW AND IMPROVED EDANDHEIDI.COM!!!!!

A special message to both of our loyal readers:
We are very sorry we havent been updating as of late, but as you can see we were fevorishly learning all kinds of new computer languages in order to dish up this brand-spankin new look. BUT, rest assured, we’ve been saving up some REALLY good posts as you WILL SEE when we resume regular broadcasting TOMORROW.

I know that on an earlier post I alluded to major changes in the works for EDANDHEIDI. these changes are on their way, but are a bit slower in coming than we had expected. Keep your eye out, tho- It’s gonna be real real good stuff!!!

The Northern Nevada link was incorrect yesterday- NOW that poor bear will never know what hit him.

This is the kind of story that people hate me for loving: 174 Wild Chihuahuas facing execution. I don’t know about you, but tame Chihuahuas don’t seem to be making a strong case for their continued existence. (The story has inspired ‘celebrity’ involvement, candle light vigils, and strife between animal rights groups. All of the commotion reminds me of the surprising amount of attention the “rover road rage” case got a couple of years ago.) At least these ones have found an interesting take on the whole tiny, annoyingly bitter dog racket. “No one questions that these are troubled dogs.” Apparently, like a scene from some classic prison movie, they killed a dozen inmates at the animal shelter the moment they got there. They may be small, but none of ‘em are about to become somebody’s doggy-girlfriend. They hunt in packs too- like twitchy, bug-eyed, diminutive wolves. THAT I’d pay money to see. Yo quiero stay of execution.

Oh sure, you may like where you live- BUT DID IT GET VOTED 3RD BEST PLACE TO LIVE? that’s what I thought. In May, Reno earned that title from Men’s Journal.We’re movin’ up (see Jefferson pic below for info.) PLUS, ESPN just filmed the Outdoor Games here last week- a friend of mine was a fly-fishing judge. I wanted to go real bad but we weren’t moved in and it took precedent. Bummer ’cause it’s gotta be the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of. Dogs fetching things, hatchets flying, men doing manly things like chewing up WHOLE LOGS and SPITTING them through SIX inch CEMENT WALLS! It doesn’t get much manlier, and it’s all here in beautiful Northern Nevada. (5 minutes in that site and you’ll storm out of your office, run into the woods and kick a bear RIGHT IN THE FACE.) You can keep your fruity juice bars and your skinny soy lattes- I’ve got ghost towns (over 600), slot machines (at gas stations even), and miles and miles of DIRT- not like your sissy mud packs- the sun-bleached hard kind that HURTS. See posters. One, Two and Three. Oh yeah, we’re bad.

Wow, allergies really are bad here…I didn’t start seeing monkeys like Ed does, but I could barely keep my eyes open all day today! It could also be the huge fire we just had too, that came like 50 feet away from homes. Our old neighborhood was this close to burning to shreds. Well, I made a gourmet meal tonight…macaroni and tuna (we’re still recovering from college life). At least it wasn’t Ramen noodles…That was last night! You know, it’s pretty sad when your husband misses the cafeteria food (LaPo). But hey, I’m learning okay? I only burn every other meal. No, just kidding…I cook good, wholesome meals, just ask Ed. I learned a lot from my dad growing up and I still call my mom for cooking help. I also got a lot of tips from the million roommates I had in college. (Thanks guys! You taught me a lot!)

Something is coming I can feel it. No, it’s not the apocalypse or anything (although I suppose you can never rule that one out.) No, something is in store for edandheidi.com- something wonderful. Very 2010. Now, don’t be afraid- nothing bad will happen to edandheidi.com. In fact, you should be very happy for it- it’s going to change. Change into something bigger and better. What it is I can’t say just yet- all we can do is wait… ’til the weekend I suppose.

Allergies… killing me… will to live… fading…I’m so cold… so cold (cough). I can’t feel my legs now… It’s so dark in here- when did it get so dark? Is .. is that you Dad? I can’t see because the monkey ran off with my glasses. Could we go on the big rides this time? Last time I threw up all over Hattie McDermitt… so cold…(cough cough wheeze) I… I… where did that dang monkey go? I miss him, and its so dark, and.. and the wolves are after me. Oh poo. I better get some allergy medicine quick.

Woah! My husband is really out there! I mean he’s way out there! I definitely married the perfect man!

Went to my first drive-in on Saturday- saw the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Great drive-in movie I would assume-a lotta cool special effects and tons of gratuitous violence. The drive-in experience is good stuff- everything I expected. You’re looking at this gargantuan screen, listening to the movie thorough your car stereo, surrounded by other cars in this giant lot- perfect for shoot-em-ups and horror flicks- bad for Schindler’s List or The Green Mile.

It’s based on a comic book written by one of the greats- Alan Moore. He’s written some really good stuff- thought provoking, deep stuff like Swamp Thing. If you’re interested in comics, look him up along with writer Neil Gaiman and artist Frank Miller- These guys all put out my favorite stuff.

I, for one, am relieved. For a while in college, I entertained- no I obsessed over the possibility of pursuing a career as a professional mascot. Lacking any inherent physical skills, I believed that it was my last chance to participate in organized sports. The dream was short-lived, as it was eclipsed by my first batch of final exams. THANK YOU FINALS!

Look at what happened at the Brewers game Wednesday night! And it doesn’t stop there folks- the grizzly tales of mascot unpleasantries go way back. You have to admire her moxy though, “I’m just a sausage, guys. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.” That is a quote that will forever ring throughout the annals (real word) of sports blooper history. One tough processed meat product, my friends- let’s hear it for the sausage.