Man Uses Duct Tape for Bear Attack Wounds
You can read the story here. “I just lay perfectly still and said, ‘God, don’t bite my head,’” Murphy said.

I Fixed My Jeep Last Night
(insert tarzan yelp here). That’s right- it was broke and I fixed it. I opened the hood, diagnosed the problem, bought the part and installed it. Dang I feel manly. I gotta go kill something with my bare hands and eat it raw. It’s gonna be a good weekend-unless you’re some poor woodland creature in my path. I am packing my duct tape tho- just in case.

Wooohooo! The Do-Not-Call Registry is back!

What? They took away my birthday present. On October 1st, the nation’s do-not-call registry was supposed to begin, but NO- some judge in Oklahoma decided that the FTC overstepped their bounds. I guess he has a problem with a little group called the US Congress. Boo that. I say, in the spirit of Dave Barry, you should let Oklahoma Judge, Lee R. West, know what you think on this matter. A lot. All day. Oh- here’s the number: 405-609-5140. I bet it wouldn’t be too hard to find his home phone to get ahold of him in a more personal setting- like right at dinnertime.

To compliment yesterday’s discourse on the disenchantment of kids today, I have yet another study to report. This one says that the youth of today doesn’t see importance in politics or voting. I may have found the reason why. My advice? First, fire Dick Cheney’s dad from the position of webmaster.

Apparently, One-Third of Teens Would Act Unethically to Get Ahead (see link). Of course another quarter said they “weren’t sure” (translation: “are you sure my parents aren’t going to read my answers?”) That puts the true number somewhere around half I guess. Half of teenagers would act unethically to get ahead. Now, I would bet that what they don’t tell you is that it goes up to about 95% somewhere around college graduation.

You would think that people would learn from watching the Enrons and Worldcoms of the world, but then again the S&L bailouts of the eighties only seemed to teach us the importance of smarter cheating (can you say Clinton? He learned his PR tricks from Reagan). Michael Milken was hired as a business consultant immediately out of prison. (This is hilarious- but true.)

What about it? Is the question “would you act unethically,” or is it, “how much would it take for you to act unethically?” Or is it “If you knew you wouldn’t get caught…” Whatever the case, it’s a pretty hairy issue. I think everyone would like to think of themselves as an ethical, but it can be awfully difficult these days to find someone who puts ethics above their own personal gain. Don’t count tomorrow’s youth out, though; also according to the study, 56% believe that ethical people achieve more. What do you think? Are we heading towards more ethical times, or less?

Movie: Underworld
Genres: Eye Candy, Action, Latex Fashion, Undead Romance
Rating: 4.5 Flying Boot-tays out of 5

Two hours of Boo-tay kickin’ eye candy. There was so much boo-tay kickin’ I could hardly find my seat- what with all the boo-tays flying around and all. Seriously- this film does not disappoint, as long as you know what’s coming to you. Schindler’s List it is not. Two-hour gothic action fest with a killer soundtrack it is. No boo-tay is safe- if yours gets anywhere near the theater, you can bet it’s gonna get kicked like the rest of ‘em. It’s a tale of vampires and werewolves, set in some modern-day U.S. city where the two creatures wage an underground war. The costumes most of the time look like the matrix cast out clubbin’- but as long as that doesn’t bug you you’re fine.

It’s mythology runs pretty concurrent with a couple old school role playing games that the D&D nerds out there will relate to- Vampire: The Masquerade and Werewolf: The Apocalypse. This can become confusing or seem irrelevant to some, but I think it helps build a story that could last a few sequels. The vamps hold to a medieval European sort of aristocracy while the werewolves hang out underground and represent the working class. Add in lots of loud music and boo-tays flying everywhere and WHAMO- great flick.

This is a very, very sad movie. It’s not a “sad comedy” like the cover says- it’s a SAD SAD thing- so be warned. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as a man who turns to huffing gasoline in order to avoid the incredible loss he feels over his wife committs suicide. OK, I could understand how that wouldn’t seem like the feel-good-hit of the summer. It isn’t. I said it was very, very sad. But it offers a view of what can happen to almost anyone who turns to the wrong stuff to deal with loss- it also gives you a lot to be grateful for. If you’ve had enough romantic comedies (Sandra Bullock/Jennifer Lopez/Cameron Diaz ends up with Hugh Grant/Ben Affleck/Matthew McConaughey), or cop buddy flicks (he’s black and from the wrong side of the tracks/a seasoned veteran, and he’s from a white upper-class family/the new hotshot rookie- but they become best of friends while foiling the assassination attempt/kidnapping/drug shipment) it’s a good rent.

• Yahoo Overview

• Official Site

Don’t know what to do this weekend? Strange forces amassing to keep you away from the sure-fire hit Underworld? Well, no need to fret- EDANDHEIDI.com has a movie review for you. Donnie Darko. Good stuff. Its a “period piece” (they’re getting to be so popular- someone needs to do a period piece set in something like “last Tuesday” or “laundry day”) set in 1988, and instead of the absolutely horrible music flooding most eighties period piece it has some cool stuff from The Church, Joy Division, Love and Rockets, and Echo and the Bunnymen. I’ll warn you- it’s sick, dark and twisted- it’s been compared to a David Lynch version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. BUT it’s really just about a kid trying to figure himself out, and his struggle with adults who think they have him and themselves figured out- but in reality they have neither. I thought it was pretty deep and the different things it delved into (the existence of God, time travel, and alternate universes- and one sick bunny) along with the dark stylish cinematography played well along with it’s sarcastic and cynical tones. Although due to the overwhelming nerdiness of some of it Heidi fell asleep- so it’s not for everyone- mainly people like me and thankfully there’s only a few of us.

• Yahoo Movies Overview

• Official Site
• Picture Gallery (contains spoilers)

Nemo has been officially found. A special thatnks goes out to our bud Matt at themettens.com for sending us the image. Sushi, anyone?

Just in time for the third Lord of the Rings installment, here’s Leonard Nimoy singing “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.” I don’t know whether to say I’m sorry or you’re welcome.

Here in Nevada we like our coffee black, our steaks rare and our crazy people darn near unstoppable. Read the following story from the Reno Gazette titled “Three bullets failed to stop home intruder, records say.” It’s nuts- literally. The man who eventually killed the attacker with a combination of .357 Magnum and unloaded shotgun said it was like the movie “Friday the 13th” or “like Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining,’ .” I told you that Nevadans were tough.

Are you ready for extreme rock solid intensity? Can you HANDLE takin’ in back to the old school? If you answered yes to any of these questions you may be ready for WORLD RPS. Rock, Paper Scissors baby- like you’ve never seen it before. Its the WORLD RPS society. Check it out. The olnine trainer is definately a must-see. I love the media archive too. The online papers are out right hilarious, like the one I got the following quote from one titled “The Myth of Dynamite Exposed”

“The misconception of Dynamite still hangs above RPS games like a great Death’s Head, forcing otherwise reasonable RPS players into a whirling vortex of circular arguments. Let it be known that The World RPS Society does not now, nor has it ever condoned the use of Dynamite in professional matches.”

And after you unleash the RPS beast within and totally demolish everyone you know at RPS, and you’re standing at the RPS grand championships- being interviewed on national television- remember who turned you on to WORLD RPS… you tell’em EDANDHEIDI.com.

Hello! I opened my inbox today and what do I find- the newest in Nigerian email scams. In what seems to be the newest incarnation, they have set up an internet site filled with “credentials” in order to gain your confidence. She must have learned a lot at the Nigerian email conference. Will it ever end? In case you haven’t received one of these little gems, they are a major scam. Someone posing as a government official/widow/religious organization contacts you in order to deposit a “large sum” into your bank account because out of all the people in the world they heard you were really trustworthy. Only thing they need is your handy dandy bank account number and whoosh! You’re rolling in mountains of dough. What? I’m crazy to pass up such a chance? Perhaps. And perhaps you should check out the definitive Nigerian Email resource.

Woah. It’s been quite a rough week. We lost Warren Zevon, Johnny Cash and John Ritter. You can get details on these influential men below.

• Warren Zevon

• Johnny Cash
• John Ritter

Proving you can get in trouble for just about anything, today’s feature includes a banned Cambodian Fear Factor, a half-naked store-smasher, and the last person to find out that music sharing is illegal.

• Bug-Eating, Leech-Bathing Gameshow Axed. I don’t know if its funny or not. It’s kinda humbling knowing their grand prize is $15. Of course then you find out most people there eat bugs and stuff on a regular basis, so it’s more like a free lunch.

• Man Ships Himself From N.Y. to Texas. Dumb. Good thing he didn’t end up on a NON-pressurized plane, like a bunch of other people who’ve tried this. It is tempting though.
• Inmate Falls Into Judge’s Chambers. Funny- His worst problem now is probably the lawsuits from all cheesy prison comedies he copied this from.
• Welsh man gets psychiatric treatment after shop-smashing spree. The judge’s response? Understandably, “just keep him drugged up till I can figure out what to do with him.”
• Record Industry Sues Music File Swappers.This is hilarious. Plugged into the biggest collection of easily accessed information available in the world, this woman somehow had “no idea” it was illegal to share copyrighted music in mass quantity. Even after being warned by her service provider that the RIAA was coming after her. Her response? Something along the lines of, “they have no right to sue me for stealing their revenue.”
• No Magic in Rogue Venezuela Version of Harry Potter. Bootleg Harry Potter. Ha.

Note: The RIAA lawsuit story link was previously incorrect. The link has been fixed to go to the appropriate story.

Saw a cool movie this weekend. But first, I forgot to turn you all on to this gem- “Ghost Dog: The way of the Samurai (click on the pic for details). Good stuff. It stars Forest Whitaker as a samurai hit man for an aging mob family. He lives on a roof with a whole mess of pigeons and frequently quotes from the Hagakure- it’s a 17th Century text that tells how to be a samurai- I picked it up right after seeing the movie- Oh man it’s so bad. I’m gonna be chopping people’s heads of in no time. On a really cool side note, the movie also references another cool Japanese text, the Rashomon. It turns out, one of my good friend’s grandfather translated it, and he helped him. Pretty cool huh? You can check it all out here at Amazon. Also, the soundtrack was done by RZA (AKA Bobby Digital) of Wu-Tang. If you’re a Woo-Tang fan or you just wanna see the coolest Samurai/Mafia flick ever, do yourself a favor and rent it.

This weekend we rented Identity. real good stuff. It’s a great psychological thriller- a bit Hitchcock-y, a bit like The Usual Suspects.

What do you think of our new digs? I’m so happy I pulled out old George to celebrate with us. New header, new pages, sleeker design, and… oh, would you look at that! A poll. I know- they can tend to seem a little cliche these days, but we promise to give it our signature bizzarro touch. Now you know why the posts have lacked a bit of inspiration as of late- we’ve been far to busy on the updates. Whew. So do yourself a favor: sit back, click on our favorite television personality and explore the new EDANDHEIDI.com. Don’t forget to vote before you leave.

I hit the big time today. I’m currently the highest bidder for one of these. I know, it’s light years behind my Clie PEG-T615C BUT I have no choice.

In my quest to destroy all high-priced tech gadgets I get my hands on (see camera posts), I recently dropped my cel phone in no-man’s land- the point of no return you might say, AND it was pre-flush. Ewwwww. And that was my replacement phone after I graciously left my last one with the nice airport stripsearch guy.

SOOOOOOO that brings me to my current sit. I’ve wanted one of those nifty smartphones, but they all cost about a zillion dollars and none of them (at least on Verizon’s network) are worth a darn. Aslo, I entered into one of those two year agreements with Verizon in order to get my last phone for free and if you try to break out they go after you like James Woods in Cat’s Eye.

So, since I’m at least a marginally smart boy and originally got my Clie thru Costco (mad returns policy), they’re taking it back, no questions asked and giving me a few hundred bucks, which I can take a small fraction and pay for this phone which is the size of North Korea. Wish me luck! Bidding ends in a half hour.

Here’s a couple funny comics…

Captain Ribman
Nonsequitur

Now that I have your attention… go HERE and check for an open DOMAIN NAME. For those just tuning in, we at EDANDHEIDI.com have been working ’round the clock to come up with a new domain name for our new, professional offshoot that will showcase our other projects (ie media work, business/marketing tips, life-saving inventions and the like). If YOU are the lucky winner who submits a name that we USE, you could be livin’ large with a prize beyond your wildest dreams. We’re talking major bling. Time is running out for YOU to end up with a LUXURIOUS PRIZE!*

*Luxurious prize is yet to be determined as a result of poor response to the call for luxurious prize ideas. I’m beginning to spy a trend here.

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! Bunny is 25 years old today! Happy Birthday Honey. You are the very very very best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t believe how wonderful you are. You have the most incredible heart- you love people- truly. You care about your family. You work very hard at your job and enjoy making the people in your life happier and lifted up. There is no one like you, and I’m so very glad that you’re with me. Thank you for putting up with me. Smooch.