Man Sues Over Google Pagerank. I haven’t read all the article, but I think it’s because all the supersizing made him fat.

Walmart Begins Online Music Sales. Future ventures for Wal-Mart include Head Shops, Overseas Adoptions and Botox Clinics, rounding off their complete dominance of every possible market in the free world.

Whassup Now!??!?!? Huh? What’s up now?!? Seattle is OUR HOUSE! OUR HOUSE!!!!!!

Heidi and I went to see Dawn of the Dead. And so since we’re locked in the bathroom with a baseball bat and the laptop, thanks to wireless internet you can read our review below:
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Dangit. This weekend is packed with so much stuff that we don’t know how we’ll get it all done. AND it just happens to be a power-weekend for the movies. ARRRRGGGHHH.

DOTD: Yes it’s a remake of an initially perfect film. Yes the screenwriter is known for mangling our memories of childhood classics. But it has ZOMBIES. That sells it for me.
ESOTSM: Two Words. Charlie. Kaufman.
This cool anime thingy: Looks pretty cool.

I’m gonna have to sneak ‘em in somehow.

Of course I think my head will explode on April 2nd with the one-two punch of Hellboy and Walking tall. Now, that’s gonna have to be a double feature night.

Ariped has just the cure. Find out all the stuff other people had accomplished by the time they were your age. (link)

Come on UNR. It’s been a great ride so far. Won the WAC, you’re in the NCAA tourney. And you’ve given us a reason to stop what we’re doing at 4 O’clock and throw a party. I love you guys.

So how did everyone celebrate SPD yesterday? The store was gutted of all their Guiness and we didn’t feel like going out. So I opted for chillin with friends and another Irish Favorite. If it’s good enough for House of Pain it’s good enough for me.

So, my ancestors went nuts all over Europe, so I’ve got a little of everything in me. But I’m prety sure that the biggest chunk is Irish… Anyway I found this today and tho it’s too late for SPD, it’s too good to resist.

So I present you,
BEING IRISH MEANS: (stolen from jengajam)

• you will never play professional basketball

• you swear very well
• at least one of your cousins holds political office
• you think you sing very well
• you have no idea how to make a long story short
• you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf
• there isn’t a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone
• much of your food was boiled
• you have never hit your head on the ceiling
• you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling
• you’re strangely poetic after a few beers
• you’re poetic a lot
• you will be punched for no good reason…a lot
• some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations
• your sister will punch you because your brother punched her
• many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary…and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth
• someone in your family is incredibly cheap
• it is more than likely you
• you don’t know the words but that doesn’t stop you from singing
• you can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking
• “Irish Stew” is the euphemism for “boiled leftovers from the fridge”
• you’re not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency
• there wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party
• you are, or know someone, named “Murph”
• if you don’t know Murph, then you know “Mac”
• if you don’t know Murph or Mac, then you know “Sully”
• you’ll probably also know Sully McMurphy
• you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret
• your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room
• and last but not least… Being Irish means…
• your attention span is so short that—oh, forget it.

The newest in sadistic penguin merriment: Throw Pingu.

As an added treat, the Happy Tree Friends are also kickin’ it Pingu style.

Do try to get some work done today.

I’ve figured it out. As soon as John Woo hit the states he must have developed a ferocious crack habit.

It’s the only explanation. Replacement Killers was unforgivable. Windtalkers was a total let down. Now this.

In haner af this great dey, I most humbly give ya:

Black 47 Funky Ceili

Be remembrin’- its a ryte click and a save as, or Iy’ll be beatin’ ya with me blarney stick I will. Find moore Irysh goodness at their site.

If yer still jonesin’ fer some traditional Irysh medleys, hop on down to davezilla and DL one of me personal favorites.

This one also reminds me of me beautiful homeland.

Now off with ya while I go enjoy me some delicious Lucky Charms and Guiness.

I was listening to NPR last night (yes, I know. I’ve sold out to the man- what can I say? It comes with the territory) and heard something I hadn’t thought of. In a segment regarding this study about international views of the US, the Director of Research institute mentioned that, yes, many Middle Eastern countries have an unfavorable view of the US, but they also have unfavorable views of European countries as well. Huh. People on the “Kill Dubya” bandwagon usually go off about how his foriegn policy has alienated other countries, but how are we doing in relation to other similar countries? Not a question often asked.

I’m definately not one of those My-Republican-President-Can-Do-No-Wrong types, but it was interesting to hear that.

One other point to ponder (if I use ponder again in a nonsarcastic way please slap me)- most countries that see us unfavorably also say that people who move here get a better life. Now, that doesn’t downplay whatever reason they have for disliking us, but it is also interesting.

Once again, it’s time for another installment of WHACKY CONVOS with your hosts, Ed and Jason. Presented in spectacular IM-O-VISION! Your favorite funny men are at it again! Whacky hijinx ensue here.

I’ve always dug Stern. I’m not about to defend him though. His stuff can be straight nasty and people can take great offense- and that’s exactly where he likes to nestle his nearly-intellectual-common-sense-type-common-man views. He says what most people are thinking. Guys like that love their own opinion and love controversy. We like to think we have the market cornered on clear thinking and when people cry about how the message is presented it provides exactly the type of cover we need- we can always say that you really dissagree with the presentation- deflecting the attack from the message.

It’s obvious that while Stern is mad right now, he’s getting exactly what he wants. But, it is by no means a fight for freedom of speach. That’s a vehicle he’s placed this battle inside in order to get the masses (search blog and stern) to bundle Stern and Freedom. (dont beleive me? since when does YM love Stern?)

He is presented over a federally regulated medium. The big bucks for a nationally syndicated talk show also come with playing by their rules. He knows them. Everyone else on radio knows them. Plenty of his peers would love to ignore them and play the bad-boy straight-shooter too, but they don’t. Clearchannel took him off- the FCC just fines him. He knew that people were in a fuss over indecency and he went ahead and pushed the limits anyway. I think he got beat at the game and now he’s mad. Thats exactly what we’d expect from Stern. Clearchannel also got hefty fines for their other programs but no one is claiming foul play in those cases.

In Stern’s case, he played chicken with the FCC and lost- a gamble he was sure to lose. Once the stormclouds gathered over the superbowl “malfunction,” it was either have a standoff or lose some of his trademark style. He’s a smart guy- he knew this was an opportunity he could exploit.

(Oh and let me say that the whole brouhaha over the “broach flashed round the world” had to be a plan too. Those shows had gotten so utterly horrible (Diana Ross, not U2) that they had torch it and begin anew- now next year people will be all excited to see the “new and improved HTS.”)

So he planned on losing and crafted a way to turn it from an L to a W. Turn it from Howard getting slapped for breaking the rules to a devestating blow to the common man. Sure he’s ticked that he’s not more powerful than the Federal Govt., but he gets much more press, CC gets to look like they slapped the naughty Stern, and he gets to emerge even more popular from the storm this creates. Like I said, it’s what we’d expect from Howard- this is how the man operates and people love him for it.

Now we’ll never hear the new Alanis M. single the way nature intended. (story)

It has gone too far. Too far indeed.

Friday was real busy. So feast your mice on these tasty links if you will…

• Short Movie “The Cat With Hands.” Caught that one off a blog a friend of mine from highschool runs.

• These must be fun to “install.” the look on his face is a mixture of disgust and indignance.
• This game will cause you to quit your job, lose your friends and at least 20 pounds. OK, well its real addictive.
• Back to the first link. The site that links to it is JengaJam. The have basically put PLP out of business. They’re like Phun Links Every Day.

Krispy Kreme unveiled plans for a low sugar, low fat donut. (link) Tell me, who is eating donuts for their healthy benefits? I eat them for their sickeningly sweet, fatty, artery-clogging goodness. If I want healthy I can hop on down to Wild Oats. I’m sure they have some sort of roto-rooter granola fiber-bomb thing made from free range wheat or hemp or something.

When I pick a Krispy Kreme I am fully aware that it is in reality a pretty grease sponge with sprinkles. Don’t screw with that KK or you will pay a price.

I spent yesterday in jail.

It was part of that Chamber of Commerce thing I’m doing. It’s a lot like feildtrips back in elementary school. We go places you don’t usually go and learn way more than anyone was ever intended to about it.

I gotta tell you, its whack sitting there, two feet away from a guy who’s locked up for the rest of his life. At one point we were in the “shoe” or Special Housing Unit where the guys are put who don’t work well in the general population and I’m talking to this guy who lives in a little cement walk-in closet with a toilet and a little steel sink. He owns a toothbrush you fit on your finger b/c a real one could be a weapon. He also owns a bar of soap the size of an Andys Candy Mint.

And there I am. I’m going home in a bit- home to my wonderful wife and new computer and loud music and good food and drinks. I can wear what I want, go where I want, do what I please or not do it or do it later. I can plan five years ahead, go away for the weekend, write on this blog, or waste time on whatever I want.

Now I don’t feel the least bit sorry for this guy- he’s made his bed- now he lies in it. And for one hour every three days he can leave his bedroom to stand in the sunlit yard, or shave, or play cards. But it was very surreal to think that he’s locked up. And I walk free. Wow. No matter how much I take it for granted, or how much he hungers for it- I have it. Freedom. Dang, it sucks to be him. Or all the people he jacked up or robbed.

Suddenly it’s even better to be me.

What turns would my life have had to take to end up like him? Not many, for I have my share of former friends who went to jail, snitched on each other, got addicted to crack, busted by the police with their faces in the carpet and guns on their heads, or pistol whipped into next week by their dealers. But luckily I am now where I am.

I think that tomorrow will be a nice, grateful-to-be-alive day. Even if I have bad allergies, or I don’t get my cell phone battery replaced. Yeah.

PLEASE FOLKS, WE NEED TO COME UP WITH A BETTER NAME FOR THIS POOR MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A VILLIAN. DO YOUR PART IN TEH COMMENTS SECTION.

George, there’s a well just calling your name.

Man. We were getting ready for work when Heidi’d mom called. She told us about the attack in Madrid this morning. Heidi’s sister is studying abroad in Madrid this semester and rides that metro every morning to school. We have confirmation that she is OK. Talk about a sobering morning. We love you Rachel.