Dust off the boomstick & gas up the the chainsaw. In case you haven’t heard,

In regards to ‘Evil Dead 4 Raimi says, “There will be an Evil Dead 4, and there will ALSO be an Evil Dead Remake.

hell yes it’s a great and glorious age we live in folks.

Found via twitch.

So people can’t take a joke and they forced the sissys over at vermont teddy bears to stop selling the “crazy for you” bear. Now that’s a blow to good humor everywhere- and right before valentine’s day! You heartless bastards.

Next I hear they’re going after the “we’re just like you, only slower” bear and the “don’t throw me away” bear. Another rumored target is the “life goes on” beanie baby- a hot collector’s item on ebay.

Not to fear tho kiddies, you can still get “bi-polar bear” over at toxic teddies.

Man dies from Alcohol Enema.

One question about alcohol ememas-

Just how does the hangover work?

Update: What I wouldn’t give to be sitting next to this guy when the bartender asked “so, how do you take your whiskey?”

Age has always been a fluid concept for me. I was always tall, so when i was a teenager i’d lie about my age whenever it would help- getting a job, buying smokes, joining the merchant marines, whathaveyou. I’m also really immature (no really) which I figure should keep me stuck acting like a teenager until i’m in adult diapers.

But this year i’ve been becoming increasingly aware of my impending oldness.

Last night it was painfully obvious.

I went to a concert- Helmet, Chevelle and a bunch of kiddierock bands. Now the first indication of my age was that I was only there to see helmet- “helmet who?” all the kids asked.

Second indication is the fact that today I feel like Chuck Norris in that movie where they put a rat in a burlap bag and put his head in there. If of course the rat could scream really really loud and give him a hangover.

Now, in my defense I did get up front and yell and jump and use all the weight i’ve gained since getting my desk job. I proved that I can still hang with the kiddies. But unlike the kiddies I went back to the bar and drank 17 gallons of water afterward so i didn’t die of whiskey-and-sweating-induced dehydration.

Ugh. Anyway, Helmet absolutely rocked. As the youngsters say they are still “keeping it real.” No gimmics, No rockstarness. They just get up there, make your head rattle and leave. very Very nice. I was a little bummed that they didn’t listen to me screaming for them to play “you borrowed” but like me they’re prolly just getting a little hard of hearing in their old age.

I don’t get paid for this.
I’m not a stay-at-home-mom.

I’m just a warped young man with a few minutes here and there and a pathetically huge need for attention.

I’m not writing this blog for Mrs’ Manion my 7th grade English Teacher. I’m writing this for my friends, fans and the faceless cold abyss of the internet.

So don’t piss me off and correct/laugh at my grammar and syntax.

I’ve seen all kinds of fools (1) who judge people’s sites by their grammar and (2) people who actually apologize for poor grammar. Apologize? I put this crap out to entertain, baby- I don’t expect to get my posts back with a bunch of red circles. Judging blogs by grammar makes about as much sense as judging them by smell.

Grammar has no business here. I’m sorry if the soaps weren’t very engaging today and the kids are at school- find some other hobby than spell checking people’s entries.

Judge textbooks by grammar.
Judge Term Papers by grammar.
Judge my blog by the way your mouse hand gets all tingly and sweaty in anticipation of clicking my bookmark. Judge it by how many snorts I illicit, or how much liquid you spit on your screen.

Better yet, screw judging anyway. Either you come back or you don’t. That’s it.

Phhhhhhhtttt.