ed_adkins_2000: know what kind of parent i want to be?

thezeroboss: A drunk one?

ed_adkins_2000: no no no,

ed_adkins_2000: i want to be such a good parent that if me & heidi are killed brutally in front of paige, she’ll be moved to become a super hero

ed_adkins_2000: thats good parenting.

thezeroboss: hahahahahaha

Dane Cook’s new release, Retaliation, should hit shelves today, in all its double CD + DVD goodness. Along with it, he’s got a new site as well.

Since I’m totally gay for Dane, I’ll be going home early to rip into my pre-ordered copy (along with a “special gift” promised to his fan club members) and to give the postman a big sloppy kiss for delivering it.

Now, I’m not sure what I think of his new site- just like the last one it automatically starts playing tracks from his album when it loads. While that’s great when you want to chuckle the day away at home, nothing pisses me off more than announcing to the office that I’m surfing the net on company time. Thanks alot Mr. Cook.

Plus he looks kind of fruity trying to pull off the whole “I’m so gritty/T2″ look on the main page. Where did half his face go?

On the other hand, it’s got RSS feeds! Plus, a podcast of his bits. Dane loves us- he really really loves us.

Anyway, if you haven’t already gotten totally hooked on Dane Cook like me, you suck. Quit being productive and go over to his new site immediately. After all, if it’s before 5, you’re prolly getting paid for it anyway.

danecook.com

right click and download tracks here (01, 02, 03, 04, 05,)

Previous dane cook mentions here

Update- as of this morning his site is all haywire, but you can still DL those tracks.

Russia’s Biggest Spammer Brutally Murdered in Apartment

I picture some spam vigilante group kicking down this guys door and beating him into a mushy pulp, all the while yelling stuff like, “NO, (pound) as a matter (pound) of fact I (crack) DON’T feel like (splat) visiting your (splush) HUGE ONLINE CASINO- (splatter) but thanks anyway!!!”

I don’t care what happens to me- after reading that, nothing can bum me out all week. My faith in mankind is again renewed.

Found via Sheckymag

First let me say that I absolutely hate the torrent of crappy new words people create for blogging terminology. Actually in any medium/channel/industry right now there’s a whole gaggle of pretentious twitbags spouting off new terms every couple of days as if they’re laying golden eggs.

But I’m allowed to come up with stuff because I’m funny.

I’ve got a new term for when people run out of interesting things to say and resort to posting graphic sexual content in order to bring visitors to their site.

are you ready?
(more…)

If you ever build a time machine, and you go back to prior Y2K, there is one major development of our era that absolutely no one will believe.

By the time Britney Spears ever poses nude (and we all know she’s got to be just one more failed marriage/tv-show away), no one will care.

I swear, you tell our past selves that and you’ll be burnt as a witch. Prior to 2000 I thought she was going to get her own cult. Thank you, Mr. Federline, for helping us focus on more important issues.

Doesn’t anyone realize that they’re not watching reality TV?

Survivor, Fear Factor, The Apprentice, The Bachelor…

They’re game shows.

Just packaged differently, like those salads in a bag that get us to pay four times as much for lettuce.