Elevator Chronicles: Part One
The following is an internal conversation that occurred while Walking into the elevator the other day:
(Step into elevator, push Lobby)
MIND: … I can’t believe how quick the final exam got here- I’m so not prepared at-
ABDOMEN: Yo man.
MIND: …all. Maybe if I rush I…
ABDOMEN: Dude.
MIND: …get home… read my notes- WHAT?
ABDOMEN: I’m noticing some discomfort.
MIND: Whatever- just take care of it, I’m freaking out.
ABDOMEN: Ok
(FLOOR 11)
EARS: Did you hear that?
MIND: Will you guys please shut up!
NOSE: I’m with ears on this one. Something’s up.
EARS: I told you.
EYES: Nope, all’s clear. Ear’s full of crap again.
EARS: Dude, whatever- who asked you?
NOSE: Ohhhhh MAN!
MIND: Shut Up- wait… ears, nose, abdomen…
(FLOOR 10)
MIND: Holy Crap! Abdomen- what did you do?
ABDOMEN: I took care of it. Ask the butt.
BUTT: Wha? What? I just finished my nap- we going home already?
MIND: What have you done?!?! We’re in an ELEVATOR!
BUTT: wait a second- looks like I might have fired one off.
FACE: Que the redness and sweat.
EYES: I’m serious guys, I think you’re over reacting- there’s nothing there.
MIND: Abdomen!
ABDOMEN: Well, maybe you should listen to me once in a while.
MIND: Dude you can’t go around just-
NOSE: Oh my LORD! Hands- can you give me some help here? Close me up!
LEGS: We’ll get us out of this! Let’s go boys! Hup Hup hup…
MIND: WAIT!
LEFT HAND: No one leaves here until I push the button!
RIGHT HAND: Control freak.
NOSE: A little help!
LEFT HAND: I said hold on!
NOSE: Well, SOMEone didn’t look so shy when he was picking me earlier.
EYES: Oh MY- we’re watering now- What the hell did you eat?
FEET: Um, it kinda feels like we’re slowing down.
EARS: Wait, so like some one is getting on? Freaking classic.
MIND: EVERYONE CALM DOWN- THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! GAAHHHH! WEERREEE STOPING!!!!
NIPPLES: We’re all gonna die!!!!!
(FLOOR 9) (ding)
To be continued…
December 30th, 2004 at 2:38 pm
What’s worse than farting in an elevator & then having your boss get on at the next floor? Getting onto an empty elevator, realizing after the doors have shut that someone has let loose a bomb but escaped, and THEN having your boss get on at the next floor.
Not that it’s ever happened to me, of course.
December 30th, 2004 at 5:01 pm
hahah loved it!
December 30th, 2004 at 5:13 pm
again, I am sooooooo glad we’re having a girl!
December 31st, 2004 at 7:57 am
That is some funny sh*t right there…
Thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. I clicked one of your banners while surfing BE, and ended up here…for a while…
I will be back.
December 31st, 2004 at 11:37 am
*****Snort!******
Ha! You’re too funny! You should be a comedian!
January 1st, 2005 at 4:03 pm
Girls don’t do these sort of…OH yeah totally!
January 4th, 2005 at 10:57 am
see, eyes!? I told you I wasn’t the only one that does it.