FRIENDLY ADVICE

“As you get older, you tend to have less- but better- friends.”

Heard that on the radio, and it sounded new. Of course I’ve heard it a million times, but it means a little something different to me in my late twenties. In highschool I had very few friends. Not by choice per se, I just wasn’t well liked. Then all the sudden that pool increased exponentially in my senior year. Nothing creates quick shallow friendships like the introduciton of drugs and alchohol.

Then I moved away, went to college and stuffs, and got a whole new bunch o’friends- and at times all the drama of a novela.

Now, having married and moved away, I look at my friendships in a more guarded way. The difference I believe is that I’ve realized I don’t have to be friends with everyone.

If you are the kind of person who drags people down for sport, we won’t hang long. If your life requires a constant near-lethal dose of drama, let’s stick to email. Lastly, if you just don’t value people- and that shows up in so many ways- I’m not willing to be your friend. I won’t make excuses for you. I won’t put up with your abuse. I just don’t have the time- we only get one go of this.

I like people. I love having friends and enjoying life with other people. Heck, I don’t go to the DMV with out inviting someone. People are a blast. Just, we all have the right to decide who to hang with and who not. People need to excercise it more. Brats are only brats because they’re allowed to be.

I think the best thing you can do sometimes is not be a friend. Some people need it. Maybe they get the picture, maybe they don’t. It’s not really your responsibility, and unless you are a trained therapist you’ll probably never help them if you do stick around.

You just go be a good friend to another good friend. It’s simple and obvious, but I think more people need to hear that it’s their choice to make.

By Ed Adkins on April 22nd, 2004 at 11:41 am

Topics: Serious Face

3 Comments »