Fun With Tom Green Fans Volume 2 (or how to deal with trolls for fun and profit)
Oh man. This could very well be a case of the sequel being better than the first one.
So this represents the best of Tim Green’s fan base? So far they’ve wished me dead, wished my family members dead- but that is nothing compared to what they’ve done to civilized discourse. But fear not my friends, I didn’t shrink back. Below you will find some of the funniest, most horrible things I have said to anyone this week. Enjoy.
Warning: Naughty Words Ahead.
The first one is a second email from A. Reinhard, who I guess initiated this whole thing. From the look of it I’d say we’re cool now.
Amanda Reinhard
to meWhat a pathetic excuse for a man you are. First of all using the word “kid” is vey presumptious on your end. I am 38 years old. I am very sure I made it clear in my previous post that YOU SUCK Sir, and I use that term in a very loose sense, not Tom. Apparently the only way you can feel good about yourself is by putting others down. I feel sorry for you and anyone who takes pleasure in reading your site. Do you not have anything worthwhile to say and do with your time in life? Cause this is SAD. So I will kindly request that YOU STOP SUCKING and find a worthwhile outlet for your energy. I will say a prayer for you and wish you luck in finding a better way in life.
Thank you for your time,
Amanda ReinhardEd Adkins
to AmandaMandi,
I bet Mr. Green is pretty flattered over your email campaign. Seriously. I bet he’s totally into 38 year old housewives.
And while appreciate your offer to pray for me- it may not be the best idea.
Chances are you get down on your knees and start thinking about me in all my studliness, and your mind’s bound to get filled with all kinds of naughtiness.
You could get struck down right then and there.
My advice- just stick to obsessing over big celebrities like Tim Green or whover he is.
Ed
This guy was brief, but still managed to give me something to work with.
John
to meNever heard of you, good luck with that. No class is low class.
Ed Adkins
to JohnUm. Actually no class would be no class. That’s less that low.
Se that?
No class = 0.
Low class > 0.In the future this rhyme may help,
When I want to remember how much class is NO
I just rebemember little boys john buffam likes to bLOW.See? That’s Easy, no?
Low?
The following one is one of my favorites, since I CONVERTED HIM! Take that Green! How many of my fans have you persuaded to join your rag tag team? Face!
aaron reinhard
to mefuck you ed,
i think that you ruined my work day.
i hope your wife dies.
Ed Adkins
to aaronstatistically mr reinhard, eventually your wish will become a reality.
keep reaching for the stars.
Ed
aaron reinhard
to mei must say, your comment in return was much better than mine
do you make a living doing this? if so… are you hiring ??
you could train me
I’m sorry this post is so long but come on, how could I leave this one out?
ur a (bloody)douschebag
Jake Snover
to mei love it how u hate on tom green.. i noticed u have only 23000 hits on your website…thats funny bc tom gets half that many each day i also notice how u look and want to be like him, is it bc he had 2 shows on mtv and u didnt? i would like to talk to u on aim sometime so i can call u an asshole while u r reading please send someting back even if u r simply going to tell me to fuck off bc u have made a mortal enemy talking shit about a hero of mine
i could care less if u ate a shitty sandwhich and choked on the corn, burn in hell.
FUCK U ED!
Ed Adkins
to JakeJake,
I admire your culinary creativity!
Culinary means “of or relating to a kitchen or to cookery”. That’s in reference to your “shitty sandwich” comment.
Reference means “Significance in a specified context”
Signifigance means “A meaning that is expressed.”
While I always enjoy hearing from my fans, I must say It’s a special treat when I hear from someone like you, for whom English is their second or even third language.
My Instant message address is sarcasomatic. I’m sure I’ll find what you have to say informative, as well as intellectually stimulating,
Your American Friend,
Ed Adkins
I think I just may write a book on proper troll maintenance.
September 18th, 2005 at 11:55 pm
Eddie Got Fingered
I wish that a big Hollywood celebrity would take note of my blog. Ed Adkins, one of the first bloggers whose material I began reading on a regular basis, was recently cited on Tom Green’s blog. Apparently, Ed posted…
September 19th, 2005 at 1:49 am
I took your advice Ed. I joined a nice knitting enthusiasts club and met a pretty old woman called Mavis. On Sunday she baked me a lovely mince pie and told me all about her late husband George. We couldn’t eat the whole pie, so Mavis put what was left of it in a bright yellow tupperware pottle for me to take home and eat for my supper.
I love to sniff the yellow tupperware container because it reminds me of her warm delicious pie. I still have some of the pie if you would me to email you a photo of it?
I put some nice red sauce on it. Mmmm mmmm. They say red lips are a sign of arousal, do you think this might mean my pie is aroused?
September 19th, 2005 at 5:33 am
oh my god. did someone actually write those words, Tim Green is a “hero of mine”?
all this was funny until. that. point.
and now i can almost understand the terrorists.
(oh, can we pick the next ‘celebrity hero’ you hate on?)
September 19th, 2005 at 11:02 am
Ed Adkins Really Knows How to Piss People Off Online
Damn Ed! I thought I was good at pissing people off online but you have just won the hot potato until the next Blog War heats up.
Ed apparantly made some
September 20th, 2005 at 4:22 am
Jesus, through some horrid twist of fate, I think I actually /know/ this Amanda. If it’s any consolation, she’s not that bright in ‘real life’ either.
September 20th, 2005 at 7:20 am
All I have to say is that I was here before the rest of them.
September 22nd, 2005 at 8:05 am
I’d buy that book, and I’m a mommyblogger.