Lap Up All The Luxury
Here’s another little insight into just how twisted my mind is. I had just got back from the conference in phoenix hell, and I was unpacking my crap & Heidi and I were talking…
HEIDI: So that hotel was pretty nice, huh?ED: Oh yeah- real swanky. Apparently they’re known for their beds. It’s supposed to feel like you’re sleeping on heaven.
HEIDI: Nice.
ED: I don’t know if you should market your beds as heaven, tho. I bet a lot of people end up feeling pretty guilty for what they’re doing on them.
HEIDI: Ha.
ED: Plus it was a straight-up resort. They had all kinds of shops and bars. You could even get massages and facials and everything. I could have dealt with a massage.
HEIDI: You mean you wouldn’t get a facial?
ED: Pffffft. Come on- I mean, sure, everyone says it’s got lots of protein, but I don’t think I’d be able to get over the taste.
HEIDI: OMG.
June 20th, 2005 at 9:43 am
Just have ‘em eat fruit beforehand. It’s more tolerable that way.
June 20th, 2005 at 10:14 am
whenever i watch basketball i giggle like a fiend. do you KNOW how often they say facial during a basketball game? and you know the sportscasters know the double meaning and they still insist on using it. so maybe they’re the sickies and i’m just along for the ride? yeah, okay. i tried.
June 20th, 2005 at 11:37 am
You didn’t, by any chance, stay at The W, did you? Although…I guess they’re more known for their unbelievable linens. *sigh*
June 20th, 2005 at 3:20 pm
Dammit, Ed. How did you get to be such a lucky bastard? I can’t believe your wife sets your pins up so sweetly for you to achieve a guaranteed strike like that.
Oh, and btw, it is totally acceptable to keep your mouth closed. Most facial artists do not require a wide, gaping mouth as a target. I’m just sayin. For future reference and all…
June 20th, 2005 at 7:24 pm
Personally I saw that one coming a mile away…heh.
js
June 21st, 2005 at 12:00 pm
Hey, as long as they eat something sweet beforehand, I have no complaints. =)
June 21st, 2005 at 6:30 pm
Some moron at work today was showing photos of his kids and kept sayin, ‘Nice, huh? That’s a money shot.’
June 21st, 2005 at 9:30 pm
I only come here for the semen jokes.
Beautifully done. As always.
June 21st, 2005 at 9:33 pm
I’m glad to know I’m not throwing my pearl necklaces to pigs.