Making a Connection
For those loyal readers who have been keeping putting up with me over the last year, you know that I sometimes have a hard time making friends. i.e:
The Political Kid
The Bee Gee Fans
Well, now one of my posts has caught the eye of one Cassondra. She has taken issue with me concerning my strong dislike of Pit Bulls- otherwise known as Satans Poopy Pets. But far be it from me to leave an enemy lurking on the net- earlier tonight I (in usual Ed form) presented Cassondra with the olive branch via IM.
Who want to lay odds on how it went?
Ed: hey there sugar
Cassondra: well hello there
Ed: so it seems you feel strongly on about the subject
Cassondra: i suppose it does
Ed: pit bulls, that is
Cassondra: obviously smart ass
Ed: hey hey hey
Cassondra: seriously you are a waste of my time, why are you iming me?
Ed: well i thought we could make nice
Cassondra: and what made you think such a thing?
Ed: youre not making this easy
Cassondra: did you want something?
Ed: come on now, cassondra
Ed: all we want is to peacefully co-exist
Cassondra: how old are you?
Ed: you know- enjoy our time here on spaceship earth
Cassondra: yeah
Ed: im 27 but im really immature
Cassondra: oh ic
Cassondra: i’m looking at pictures, is that you with the beard?
Ed: oh yes. the cute one.
Cassondra: mmhmm
Ed: see?
Ed: how can you stay mad at him?
Cassondra: i find you close minded
Ed: close?
Ed: like really near?
Cassondra: CLOSED MINDED*
Ed: oooohhhhhh….
Cassondra: you are immature
Ed: yes, i believe we covered that.
Cassondra: so, why do you hate pit bulls
Ed: one bit me really hard
Ed: and shook me around
Cassondra: your so full of it
Ed: no, totally
Cassondra: can’t you be serious
Ed: i am very serious
Cassondra: i don’t believe you
Ed: i was volunteering for a drive to giveout immunization informaiton to low-income families
Cassondra: a german shepard attacked my brother but i don’t hate them
Ed: and at one house a pit bull came out and bit the crap out of me
Ed: it wasnt my brother
Ed: it was my leg
Cassondra: i’m just saying
Ed: what- my leg isnt important anymore?
Cassondra: any dog could have done that
Cassondra: it never was
Ed: i thought we were friends
Cassondra: not to me anyways
Cassondra: how does your wife deal with you?
Ed: a lot nicer than a pit bull i’ll tell you that
Cassondra: your an idiot
Ed: and thats why they all love me
Cassondra: they all as in who?
Ed: hey listen this has been fun, but i gotta go watch a movie with my non-pit bull wife
Ed: lets do this again
Cassondra: alright, talk to ya later [richard]head
June 1st, 2004 at 11:25 pm
ed, you have made us all proud of you once again.
Woodamn!
June 2nd, 2004 at 1:04 am
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE tell me she actually called you [richard]head.
June 2nd, 2004 at 4:29 am
I detest pit bulls. A neighbor of ours has a pit bull/boxer mix. It nearly bit my son’s left nipple off almost two years ago. We are still in litigation with the neighbor’s insurance company. If I ever see that dog out in the street, his ass is so going to be run over with my Jeep a few thousand times. My son is both physically and mentally scarred from that damn dog. Oh and did I happen to mention it is a trained attack dog? Oh yea dumbass neighbor.
Thanx for letting me rant. I can’t talk like this on my own site. Too family oriented. 
June 2nd, 2004 at 6:47 am
Sorry Pete, she went a bit further than richard. I edit language here at E&H because this is, I believe, still a family show.
June 2nd, 2004 at 7:00 am
Dude! She’s the COLFH!!!!
June 2nd, 2004 at 12:54 pm
What’s up with this family site business? Where did all the nudity and cussing go? Did I fall asleep for ten years or something?
June 2nd, 2004 at 8:47 pm
I don’t get it, is richard your middle name, or what? I’m just joking, I’m not an idiot. I really like when I say something sarcastic like that and then people start in with their condescending correction because I look young and they think that I’m stupid.
“No, Shane. I think the lady was cursing. But don’t worry, she’s gone now. Everything’s gonna be O.K.”
And then they start spelling out their words to the other adults. Wait, how did I end up turning a comment about the pitbull woman into such a ridiculous rant like this?