From Wikipedia:

Live Earth is a series of concerts planned for July 7, 2007 (7/7/07) to raise awareness of global climate change. An anouncement was made on February 15, 2007 by former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and other activists as part of a campaign called Save Our Selves (SOS). The concert series is modeled after the 1985 Live Aid concerts and 2005’s Live8.

Organizers have stated a goal of reaching an audience of 2 billion.

The concert intends to have an event on every continent, including the first rock concert on Antarctica.

I’m confused.

I checked the lineup and didn’t see Green Day listed anywhere.

I thought they signed a contract along with U2 to headline every piece of shit overhyped mega-concert through 2017.

From My Friend Angus:

If they were serious then they’d only accept people who arrive via public transport into the concerts- Including the performers

Since when did Snoop Dogg give a fuck about the planet? And Tim McGraw…he better turn up in a Prius

Dear sweet holy mother of crap. Please, please watch Joe Rogan dismantle Carlos Mencia live. Joe’s been a voice in the desert for years calling comedians out on joke stealing.

One in particular is Carlos (Ned Holness) Mencia. I guess last week Nedlos had enough of it and decided to challenge Joe on stage. The preceding trainwreck is hilarious. This is destined to make the rounds.

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia onstage

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The irony of this is that the same mindless dolts who have been slapping their knees over this guys garbage ever since comedy central scrambled to plug him in the gaping hole left by Chappelle are going to be the ones who watch this video and turn against him.

Personally, I don’t watch the guy. As a white male, I find his observations about how caucasians are uptight, mexicans steal and black people like malt liquor far too over the top and edgy for my fragile constitution.

Pocketbikes are good for one thing: Natural Selection.

They help those of us in far less ridiculous transportation take an active part in weeding out the species with little more than a slight jerk of the wheel. Thank you, pocketbike maker.

As for the kid who rides past my house 30 times a day, driving his insanely loud clown bike with the most hard-core, aspiring criminal “check-out-how-badass-this-15-year-old-is” look on his face, you suck. You’re the punch line in a 15 mph joke. Put the engine back in the lawnmower and make yourself useful.

Which begs the question: Just why would someone make such an obviously bad choice with their disposable income?

Fotunately, I stumbled upon the answer.

The following direct quotes from actual purchasers of Pocketbikes, overheard at an actual Pocketbike dealership (really just a guy selling them out of a Uhaul in the Best Buy parking lot) answer my very quesiton…

Why are you buying this Pocketbike?

• I need something to keep away the chicks. They have cooties.

• Honestly, I would ride an ostrich if it were trendy.
• Regular sized bikes are for cool people.
• I had to find some way to spend the money I got from winning the POG tournament.
• I am a midget. (ok, that’s cool)
• I had to give up my Vespa when I stopped listening to EMO.
• I’ve always loved the feel of my knees against my cheeks.

That’s for you, loyal readers- an EDADKINS.com exclusive. I hope it helped you as much as it did me.

The band The Darkness needs to fall down a well.

Can I get a witness?