Happy Mothers Day, from one bad mutha.

Always has. I don’t believe I ever sat through a whole episode.

Two days before the Coachella Music Festival and I’ve got work piled up to my, um, chin or something.

That’s why I need you- our loyal readers- to help.

See, we’re staying at the campgounds onsite, and they have posted these silly “rules” on their site.

01. All camping attendees MUST be 18 years of age or older and have a valid I.D.
02. Each camping attendee must have their OWN camping ticket for entrance into their camping area.
03. A camping ticket is NOT GOOD for ENTRANCE into the festival.
04. EACH camping ticket gets a 50 square foot area to pitch a tent and sleep under the stars.
05. Campsites open Friday, April 30th at 6:00pm and closes on Monday, May 3rd at 10:00am with check in open all night on friday and till 2am Sunday morning. (Sat. Night).
06. There will be on-site security at all times as well as first aid stations open 24/7.
07. All camping attendees are subject to search upon entry.
08. Feel free to bring your own food and beverages, but unfortunately there will be NO open fires, gas, charcoal, propane or any other cooking devices allowed.
09. No alcohol, glass containers, weapons, drug paraphernalia or drugs allowed.
10. No animals will be allowed in the campground.
11. Campers may go in & out of their own campground Lot and wristbands will be checked each time upon re-entry (this does not mean in & out of concert venue).
12. Campers are expected to behave in a manner that is courteous to other campers.
13. Noise curfew is 1:00am.
14. No tailgating allowed.
15. Venue is not responsible for any materials misplaced, lost or stolen. It is recommended you don’t bring valuable items or if you do, please lock them in your car for safety.

As you can see, we have a few problems here. These are supposed to be two days of music-y campy goodness. If you have any ideas on ways we could blatantly break the rules find creative solutions to this problem, please post them in the comments.

1. How should we smuggle in some whiskey?
2. How can we covertly operate a propane stove for our french press and burritos?
3. What else might we need to sneak in?

(note: neither of us get tanked. also, between the 100 degree weather and the 14 hour a day line-up, we would prolly die anyway.)

I just got the word on my 10 year high school reunion. I’m not going too far into how weird that’s going to be.

Anyway, it’s going to be around Thanksgiving. What the crap is that about? Thanksgiving. I thought these things took place in the summer. Apparently it has to do with people being in town already. Oh well- I was hoping to catch up with old friends and finally show Heidi what the beach is like in the summertime.

Anyone else go to their reunion? Was it in the summer, or placed right smack in the same weekend of some lame holiday?

(note: anyone know what movie I got the title of the post from?)

Well you can’t blame them for trying.

So I’m doing this whole overhaul of the site soon and included will be a change of our domain name. So here I am looking for insiration and I stumble accross some rather, um, interesting ones for sale over at ebay.

MICHAELJACKSONISDEAD.com: it reminds me of an old techno song- anyone remember that one? You have to admit- while morbid, this is a rather enterprising individual who definately thinks ahead.

EVYLUTION.com: This beauty is going for the bargain basement price of 99 grand. A quote from the seller explains, “People have told us we could be asking much, much more for this name…who is to say? Let me ask you this: Which is “worth” more? Beetles (proper spelling) or Beatles (invented spelling)?”

NAMEGOAT.com: This rounds off the collection with a starting bit of about 10 bucks. “This is just what you have been waiting for,” says the owner, “a UNIQUE web address that will make you stand out above the others.” In my opinion, the logo alone is worth at least 75 cents.

Everyone can relate to this:

Accidentally making a little fart sound with your shoe.

That’s a sweet piece of blogging right there. I was gonna get around to covering that subject myself, but I just thought Buzz did a much finer job. Classic.

What do you guys do in that situation? I immediately try to re-create it- if that doesn’t work I’ll either announce it to everyone that it was a false alarm. Tends to shatter that tension pretty well.

Dang. I didn’t know that April 7 was send-your-infected-email-attachements-day. It’s a good thing I never open that crap.

I’m sick today. I was all kinds of sick yesterday too, but I think I’m at least on the upswing now tho. At least it gave me some good material about the flu.

Do you hate the movie Grease?

Do you hate America’s Funniest Home Videos?

You will absolutlely abhor this video. (link)

But somewhere deep inside, you will get a sick satisfaction- nay, an affirmation- that your life has meant something. If only because you haven’t speant the last two years of it teaching a dog to do that.

Yes. It is the rise of the CeWEBerty. People who are Celebrities of the Internet. Most of whom live in relative obscurity until their web appeal unleashes a torrent of websites devoted to them including doctored pictures, soundboards, animations, fanclubs and fan fiction.

From nothing to internet icon, it is the phenomenon only seen on the web where the cult of personality can sweep continents in a day.

Known CeWEBerties:

• William Hung The American Idol “She Bangs” guy.

• Star Wars Kid A mop handle and a camera and a star was born.
• Bubb Rubb Woo Woo my friend. Woo woo indeed.
• Robert Hamburger The author of the infamous “ninja site.
• Henry Earl Town drunk of the net.

I think there’s a lot here to write about. Like what makes these people so contagious? Or why do some people become ceWEBerties while others never catch on? If you are aware of any more ceWEBerties than I have mentioned, please add them below.

Imagine if the net was this popular ten years ago. The little girl in the bumblebee outfit in the No Rain video would rule the world.

P.S. I like CeWEBerty better than CeWEBrity, so don’t try to correct my spelling.

Uh oh. Theres only a few more days left to pre-register for Gnomedex. For those of you who have (interesting) lives, Gnomedex is a conference for internet dweebs where we can learn about all kinds of ultra-nerdy stuff and pay homage to the leaders of our kingdom- the elite techno people who paved the way for all of us lesser geeks. And this year there’s an open bar.

Well, it’s being held in Tahoe which is only about 30-45 minutes away. Nice. Who’s with me?

Dangit. This weekend is packed with so much stuff that we don’t know how we’ll get it all done. AND it just happens to be a power-weekend for the movies. ARRRRGGGHHH.

DOTD: Yes it’s a remake of an initially perfect film. Yes the screenwriter is known for mangling our memories of childhood classics. But it has ZOMBIES. That sells it for me.
ESOTSM: Two Words. Charlie. Kaufman.
This cool anime thingy: Looks pretty cool.

I’m gonna have to sneak ‘em in somehow.

Of course I think my head will explode on April 2nd with the one-two punch of Hellboy and Walking tall. Now, that’s gonna have to be a double feature night.

Come on UNR. It’s been a great ride so far. Won the WAC, you’re in the NCAA tourney. And you’ve given us a reason to stop what we’re doing at 4 O’clock and throw a party. I love you guys.

So how did everyone celebrate SPD yesterday? The store was gutted of all their Guiness and we didn’t feel like going out. So I opted for chillin with friends and another Irish Favorite. If it’s good enough for House of Pain it’s good enough for me.

So, my ancestors went nuts all over Europe, so I’ve got a little of everything in me. But I’m prety sure that the biggest chunk is Irish… Anyway I found this today and tho it’s too late for SPD, it’s too good to resist.

So I present you,
BEING IRISH MEANS: (stolen from jengajam)

• you will never play professional basketball

• you swear very well
• at least one of your cousins holds political office
• you think you sing very well
• you have no idea how to make a long story short
• you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf
• there isn’t a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone
• much of your food was boiled
• you have never hit your head on the ceiling
• you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling
• you’re strangely poetic after a few beers
• you’re poetic a lot
• you will be punched for no good reason…a lot
• some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations
• your sister will punch you because your brother punched her
• many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary…and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth
• someone in your family is incredibly cheap
• it is more than likely you
• you don’t know the words but that doesn’t stop you from singing
• you can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking
• “Irish Stew” is the euphemism for “boiled leftovers from the fridge”
• you’re not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency
• there wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party
• you are, or know someone, named “Murph”
• if you don’t know Murph, then you know “Mac”
• if you don’t know Murph or Mac, then you know “Sully”
• you’ll probably also know Sully McMurphy
• you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret
• your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room
• and last but not least… Being Irish means…
• your attention span is so short that—oh, forget it.

I was listening to NPR last night (yes, I know. I’ve sold out to the man- what can I say? It comes with the territory) and heard something I hadn’t thought of. In a segment regarding this study about international views of the US, the Director of Research institute mentioned that, yes, many Middle Eastern countries have an unfavorable view of the US, but they also have unfavorable views of European countries as well. Huh. People on the “Kill Dubya” bandwagon usually go off about how his foriegn policy has alienated other countries, but how are we doing in relation to other similar countries? Not a question often asked.

I’m definately not one of those My-Republican-President-Can-Do-No-Wrong types, but it was interesting to hear that.

One other point to ponder (if I use ponder again in a nonsarcastic way please slap me)- most countries that see us unfavorably also say that people who move here get a better life. Now, that doesn’t downplay whatever reason they have for disliking us, but it is also interesting.

Once again, it’s time for another installment of WHACKY CONVOS with your hosts, Ed and Jason. Presented in spectacular IM-O-VISION! Your favorite funny men are at it again! Whacky hijinx ensue here.

…what it feels like to be a cultural icon.

Skip Oberon, you are a mysterious mystery-laden mysteriouso.

• He just left a puzzling comment on one of my recent entries. It looks like a spam comment but it lists no url.

• After the initial sentence, his comments seem to be generated by some random phrase engine
• A google search for him brings up a string of equally bizarre comments on other sites
• Tho most IP addresses can’t get a bead on him, it seems he’s in Massachusetts or New Hampshire.
• Let me add, without freaking you out too much, that the comment he left was the 666th on this site!!!

Who is this Skip Oberon? A man? A robot? A visitor from mankind’s dark, apocalyptic future? Let us hope against hope that someone will unearth this mystery while there is still time.

They’re making it.

Captions, anyone?