As usual, my boy the Relentless Giberish Bastard prooves himself to be voice of truth in the hip-hop world. Just like last year about now when he went off on Lil John for using his music to lower the collective intelligence of america, he recently managed to have a sit-down with one of the latest ridiculous products of the hype-machine, Kanye (for some awful reason I always add the sound of emasculated elves singing in the background of my songs) West…

RGB: Listen, Kanye, what everyone wants to know is how are you so brilliant?

Kanye: I can’t explain it man, it’s like I don’t even try, and then bam! I’ve got another hit! I was in a car wreck man…

RGB: Wow! Very insightful! Listen let me ask you about your fashion sense! You talk about ’shootin cats’ and ‘rollin on chrome wheels’ yet you dress like a 17th century woman. explain that…

Kanye: Yeah man, you are the first one to ever mention that… I just keep it real, you know, I’m from the streets, man, that’s it… car wreck…

Go give it a looksee. Not only did I LOL, i did this retarded clap thing after reading one part.

Taste My Comedy: Kanye West Takes The World By Storm… Again!

Go read angrypete’s latest post, Biftacular.

He tackles an issue truely plaguing ‘Merica- the de-biffing of our nation. If you’ve been waiting for some brave soul to stand up and say, “how can we just sit back and watch as they destroy the sanctity of Biffage,” well then, he’s your man.

Let your voice be heard. Join the movement.

It’s biflarious.

San Francisco comedian/blogger Alex Blagg just posted some damn swell scriblin’ titled,

I’ll Drink Starbucks If I Want, You Stupid Hippies.

Go check it out. Now. All of you who enjoy a good rant, sit at the feet of a master. Here’s a snippet for those who still need to be convinced:

As if the exorbitant rent prices weren’t enough, part of the price of living in San Francisco is putting up with an endless stream of hippie bullshit. Even though there are more protests here than there are ATM machines, I’m usually pretty good about blocking out the stupid signs and bullhorned babbling of a bunch of morons with nothing better to do. However, this morning, as I was walking out of Starbucks with my coffee, still bleary-eyed and half-asleep, some dumb anarchist-punk-hippie-activist” yells at me,…

Interested? Good. Now leave. I have no time to come up with good posts lately. Go read a few of his posts and come back to me a better person.

Best post written in anticipation of Star Wars Episode III: HOW TO MAKE A NERD’S ERECTION GO SOUTH. It’s on Tremble, the blog of Todd Levin, self described “professional word-putter-togetherer” and standup comedian. He starts off reminding us the tragedy that was Episode I:

…in all his grandstanding Lucas neglected to inform us that The Phantom Menace included a scene of a young (borderline retarded? macrocephalic?) boy dodging space meanies in his own stolen rocket ship, while gleefully shouting “Wheee!!!” and “Whoopee!” like he’d just discovered some Chicken Dunks® Lunchables® in his secret hidey hole. (I’m not even going to comment on JarJarGate or all the kikey shylock aliens. The hacks have already hacked those subjects to bits.)

Then, after the space dust settled, and everyone who didn’t share a brain with a conjoined twin declared Phantom Menace smellier than a seat cushion on a local Greyhound shuttling between Hobo Junction and Shitpants Valley, Lucas had the Death Star-sized balls (See how I did that???) to stand by his stink and declare that everyone in the world was dead-wrong, with the exception of Ching and Chang.

Next he targets Episode II:

…this movie was like the longest-running game of Turd Jenga. “Attack of the Clones?” That’s the best he could do? This movie cost $398 million and took three years to make. What an insulting title. He might as well have called it Episode II: Untitled Jimmy Smits Project. Or, if you were to believe the carefully spun press, Episode II: Yoda Fight!

Now with all the buzz surrounding Episode III, he puts our cautious optimism into perspective:

Does the American movie-going public have the same memory dysfunction as a housecat? Because Lucas has already been applying the full press, and staying on point with carefully released statements like, “this is a much darker, moodier film” and “this is the one we’ve all been waiting for” and “there is convincing evidence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction-based programs.”

It’s a great read. Go check it out and mill around his older posts too- the guy is consistantly funny.

First off, I love Jay Pinkerton. Not in a gay way, more in a prison bunkmate way. If we were bunkmates I’m sure we’d watch each others backs, and make sure no one made the other one their bitch. We’d probably have long, thoughtful strolls during our yard time where we’d dream up hilarious, yet thought provoking satire of American pop culture. And when one of us got paroled, we would hug in the completely heterosexual way that only two men who shared deep admiration for one another’s uncompromising integrity and talent could. Then we would kiss. But in the same completely non gay way that only two men who had been without the company of women for way too long could.

He’s brilliant. That’s why he’s an editor for national lampoon and I’m an underrated peon, lost in the cold dark abyss of the internet.

Anyway, I believe you’ll find if you head on over to his forums that he’s somehow captured all of our angst and frustration over the miserable failure Lucas has turned the star wars franchise into, found the humor just under the surface, flattened it out and wrapped it around a tasty egg mcmuffin. Head on over and enjoy. (Photoshop Fun: Star Wars VII-IX)

Do yourself a favor- don’t rush off to click the following link all willy nilly.

This is no ordinary link. This is a link to be eased into- savored. Tell your mouse it’s about to get a rare treat. Rub your eyes a bit and let them know you’ve been wanting to give them something like this for a long time. Tease them a bit- whisper something to them about how it’s a big surprise and you can’t wait to share this with them and they’re worth it.

Even though they’re not.

No, gentle reader, you are indeed not ready for this link. You’re not really worthy of it- none of us are.

Because this link takes you to the funniest site on the internet.

But first, before you do, be warned. It’s perfectly normal to completely empty the contents of your bowels and bladder upon reading the following site. The sheer power of the humor contained within has been known to kill a man, and yet at other times heal crippled children. It’s a beacon of hilarity, shining down on humanity during a dark time. A mama-bird of unbridled humor, lovingly chewing laugh after laugh before gently spitting it into our desperate mouths. A veritable tsunami of gut-busting guffaws, hurtling towards you at a terrifying velocity.

The site, my friends, you can find if you continue reading this post.

Of course, nothing this good is without danger. Because of the potential offensiveness of the material found there, I am obligated by the Dept. of Homeland Security to post the following disclaimer:

Warning: This site contains graphic depictions of sexual acts. These acts are performed by trained professionals and should not be tried at home, without your parents supervison.

It also contains many racial, sexist, and gross images. Doubledare gross. I’m serious. Only click the following link if you are enlightened or immature enough NOT to be offended by such things, and instead simply enjoy the humor spilling out from within.

You may have seen me mention this site before, but it’s about time it got the attention it deserves.

Now, mortal human, prepare yourself for the glorious bone-shattering comedy of:

THE MURPHMAN.

Make sure you leave a comment. His post on the Oscars yesterday made me weep.

Editor’s Note: If you want a peek of his earlier genius, check out his first website.

Tony Pierce made it onto screen savers to promote his new book, How To Blog (which would make a pretty cool gift for any blogger you may know…) and his site, the busblog.

It’s exciting to see blogging gaining greater recognition as a medium. Along side that, it’s cool that busblog getting some exposure. If you haven’t checked out the site, zip over & poke around- it’s consistantly on. It’s a great mixture of cool, indignant, cocky and “hi mom.” Even the stuff where I’m like “Tony, you don’t know crap,” I still dig how he flows. His post earlier in the year on how to blog was one of the inspirations of my own satirical HTB post. (look out for the advanced list coming out soon.)

Before you check out the clip, I must mention my surprise that he has the voice of Keenen Ivory Wayans. I was expecting more of a Mario Van Peebles, but that’s cool.

Click on the picture to see the video in Spectacular ED O Vision.

SheckyMagazine got an RSS feed! (now, I won’t mention the fact that they said they would email me to tell me about it and didn’t.)

Shecky is the product of comics Traci Skene & Brian McKim. Not only does it provide a venue for comedy writers to get exposure, it’s also a great look into the world of stand-up. Reading Shecky has taught me a lot obout what it is that I’m getting myself into.

Stop over and check it out. Also, if you want to add it to your feed reader, here’s the link to their ATOM feed.

Here’s a new category at EADC, Site O The Day. Do yourself a favor and check these suckers out. They just might add a little purpose to your otherwise meaningless life.

First on the menu is Jake’s Comedy Corner. Hilarious hilarity. It’s written by Jake Novak- I’ll refrain from rewriting his bio and just give it to you off his site:

Jake Novak is a prolific comedy writer specializing in monologue “news jokes” and longer-form satirical pieces. His work is regularly published in Newsday and several web sites including WhiteHouse.org and Shoptalk. He also happens to be a producer at CNN.

It’s quite a find. Yesterday he managed to rip on Ashlee Simpson and Bush in the same joke- something coincidentally I also had in mind for this Thursday’s set at the Great Basin.

I dig his stuff because it’s intelligent and quick. Reading the blurb on the side panel I note that he’s also a Prof at NYU. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen him on TV or not, but I’d like to see his live show.

Check it out. Laugh your coal-mining ass off. Thank me later.