The Murphman
Do yourself a favor- don’t rush off to click the following link all willy nilly.
This is no ordinary link. This is a link to be eased into- savored. Tell your mouse it’s about to get a rare treat. Rub your eyes a bit and let them know you’ve been wanting to give them something like this for a long time. Tease them a bit- whisper something to them about how it’s a big surprise and you can’t wait to share this with them and they’re worth it.
Even though they’re not.
No, gentle reader, you are indeed not ready for this link. You’re not really worthy of it- none of us are.
Because this link takes you to the funniest site on the internet.
But first, before you do, be warned. It’s perfectly normal to completely empty the contents of your bowels and bladder upon reading the following site. The sheer power of the humor contained within has been known to kill a man, and yet at other times heal crippled children. It’s a beacon of hilarity, shining down on humanity during a dark time. A mama-bird of unbridled humor, lovingly chewing laugh after laugh before gently spitting it into our desperate mouths. A veritable tsunami of gut-busting guffaws, hurtling towards you at a terrifying velocity.
The site, my friends, you can find if you continue reading this post.
Of course, nothing this good is without danger. Because of the potential offensiveness of the material found there, I am obligated by the Dept. of Homeland Security to post the following disclaimer:
Warning: This site contains graphic depictions of sexual acts. These acts are performed by trained professionals and should not be tried at home, without your parents supervison.
It also contains many racial, sexist, and gross images. Doubledare gross. I’m serious. Only click the following link if you are enlightened or immature enough NOT to be offended by such things, and instead simply enjoy the humor spilling out from within.
You may have seen me mention this site before, but it’s about time it got the attention it deserves.
Now, mortal human, prepare yourself for the glorious bone-shattering comedy of:
Make sure you leave a comment. His post on the Oscars yesterday made me weep.
Editor’s Note: If you want a peek of his earlier genius, check out his first website.
March 3rd, 2005 at 8:05 pm
Well, I’m glad that you enjoy my humor because it doesn’t seem to have the same effect on sane people. But, man that’s pretty cool that anyone thinks my writing is that funny, even though I’m sure that you’re exaggerating a little bit so that you can get one of my famous trucker-style handjobs. Well, don’t count on it. They fetch a pretty steep price around Phillips 66/Subway/arcade combonations in this part of the country. And here I thought that I had a pretty healthy following to my blog already. And by healthy following I mean a handful of obese junior college dropouts who systematically check my site for porn links.
But, the only thing is that now I have to live up to a pretty high standard that far surpasses the goal of 5th grade punctauation that I’ve set for myself. I guess that’s cool if I can bring a tiny bit of joy to the heart of crippled children.